Daily Jots

There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
George Santayana

Enjoying the interval. That’s the part most of us miss. We are too busy worrying about what might be around the corner!

Today is the birth date of Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States.  He is remembered for many things:  Leading the country during the Civil War, taking a stand against slavery, and delivering powerful speeches that students still memorize are just a few of history’s notations.

What is not as well known is the devotion and love Lincoln and his wife had for each other.  We toss the word “soulmate” around a lot and it is understandable why - everyone hopes to find their own soulmate and have a love that lasts a lifetime and beyond.

Mary Todd Lincoln was Abraham Lincoln’s soulmate.  She was the world and all to him, and he often commented how he had fallen in love with the young woman nine years his junior, and that he had never fallen out. 

On a horrible night in April of 1865, President Lincoln was shot while enjoying a play.  That is a story that every student in America is taught.  But what isn’t taught, is the testimony to the strength of love Mary Todd Lincoln gave that night. 

While Lincoln was on his deathbed, she was in the room twisting her wedding band in fear and distraction.  At the moment of the President’s death, someone with the family said, “Now he belongs to the ages.” 

Mary looked up and said quite firmly, “He belongs to me.  Our love is eternal.”

It is a sad story, but the Lincoln’s marriage and love tell us much about true love - it does exist and it can be found!

Some Last Thoughts:
“Oh that it were possible,
After long grief and pain,
To find the arms of my true love,
Around me once again.”
Alfred, Lord Tennyson

“Death can not stop true love, it can only delay it for a little while.”
From “The Princess Bride”

Technorati Tags: soulmate soul mate love true love Abraham Lincoln Mary Todd Lincoln

Thought of the Day:
“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”
Helen Keller

Thinking Outside the Box:
Kind of reminds a person of “no pain, no gain.” Or on a deeper level, “The Dark Night of the Soul.” The bottom line, according to Helen Keller, and countless philosophers before her, is that if we do not suffer, we stagnate. Small comfort in the middle of the suffering.

But looking at the nature of our difficulties, trials, and struggles from this point-of-view, allows us to look at them in an entirely different light. I had a friend who used to say, “If it doesn”t kill you, it will make you stronger.” At the time, the thought was unwanted and certainly unappreciated. But he was right.

Consider for a moment, a piece of wood. Perhaps a piece that will be made into a chair or table leg. You know the kind - the scrolling, shaping that so beautifully displays the wood grain. That chair leg only looks that way now because it was exposed to friction, heat, and all of the power tools that sound like a Sunday morning. Before power tools, there were chisels and other hand tools that still inflicted the same stress on the wood and still resulted in the beautifully finished piece of sculptured furniture.

The point is that we don”t need to look for stresses or trouble to enter our life. They will happen whether we need them or not. The thing to remember is that the hard times will pass and we will emerge on the other side - wiser, experienced, and with a good measure more of soul.

Some Last Thoughts:

“It is often better to be in chains than to be free.”
Franz Kafka

“History, Stephen said, is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake.”
James Joyce (and yes, this is related - ponder a bit)

“There”ll be bluebirds over the white cliffs of Dover, Tomorrow, just you wait and see.”
Nat Burton (1941 - WWII)

“The priest persuades humble people to endure their hard lot; The politician urges them to rebel against it; and the scientist thinks of a method that does away with the hard lot altogether.”
Max Perutz

“I”ve looked at life from both sides now,
From win and lose and still somehow
It”s life”s illusions I recall;
I really don”t know life at all.”
Joni Mitchell

Technorati Tags: Suffering, Grief, Life and Living

Thought of the Day:
“Over 60 percent of American households have a dog as a pet.”
American Pet Products Manufacturers Association

Thinking Outside of the Box:
I didn’t know that dogs outnumbered cats by so many! In 2004, which is the last year the NPPMA has statistics for, 63% of American households had a dog. Only 34% had cats. Birds, reptiles and small animals all were in the single digits.

I was really surprised about cats. I am not sure if cats are not understood well by people, if cats that insist on going outside are not considered part of the family, or people simply feel man’s best friend is necessary to having a complete life. For whatever reason, dogs are the most commonly owned pet in the United States.

I have had some wonderful experiences with dogs. I had a Pembroke Welsh Corgi for 16 years; I lost her due to problems that go along with being very old, about a month after I lost my husband. My husband had a Great Pyrenees, which is a really, really big dog and he and that dog were inseparable. Bradley, which was a good name because he was nearly as big as a tank at 160 pounds, was a wonderful friend, watchdog (the UPS man was terrified of him), and loyal to the core. When my husband died, Bradley refused to eat for a long time; his weight dropped to 95 pounds and he was in a medical crisis.

Fortunately he pulled through and I kept him as long as I could. I did have to place him with another family on a large ranch - he was just too much dog for me to handle. His weight was back and he had entirely too much fun terrorizing my cats. I see him from time to time and he still has that goofy grin and I think, he still looks for his best friend and wonders when he will see him again.

I learned a lot about love and grief from Bradley. As his weight was dropping and he moped around, I saw the open wounds of his emotional pain. People think dogs aren’t capable of that kind of attachment… well, they just never had a dog. There is a reason 63% of Americans have a dog. If you don’t, maybe you should think about changing that; what a wonderful gift to give yourself for the New Year.

Just think about it.

Some Last Thoughts:
“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.”
Mark Twain

“When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.”
Erma Bombeck

“Man is a dogs ideal of what God should be.”
Holbrook Jackson

“The more I see of men the more I like dogs.”
Madame de Stael

“I know that dogs are pack animals, but it is difficult to imagine a pack of standard poodles…and if there was such a thing as a pack of standard poodles, where would they rove to? Bloomingdale’s?”
Yvonne Clifford

and the main reason to have a dog:

“The great pleasure of a dog is that you make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, he will make a fool of himself too.”
Samuel Butler

Thought of the Day:
“As the season of believing seems to wind down let me gently remind you that many dreams still wait in the wings. Many authentic sparks must be fanned before passion performs her perfect work in you. Throw another log on the fire.”
Sarah Ban Breathnach

Thinking Outside of the Box:
Do you ever have problems with creativity? I do. We all do. Any author who tells you that they don’t, is lying. There are days when ideas just “t’ain’t” gonna happen. This whole week has felt that way; since Madelyn, my parrot passed away on Christmas, I feel like all of the stuffing has been yanked from me. I feel about as creative as a pet rock.

So anyway, I thought I needed to jumpstart my brain. Somehow find it within to come up with some new ideas, and stop just sitting here feeling so sad. I stumbled into the quote above and it summed up how I was feeling.

The season of believing sure does seem to wind down at times. The losses in our lives, and the last few years, well they have given me more than just a few to deal with; I have lost people and things I never thought I would lose. Well, eventually maybe, of course, but that was all in the future.

My season of believing was winding down. There just didn’t seem to be anything that could ignite the fire at times and losing Madelyn, who had been with me nearly half of my life was just a little too much. I didn’t realize how much of me was packed into that bundle of feathers.

But I believe, somehow, somewhere within me, are those dreams waiting. They wait like actors for their cues to move on stage. They won’t come out until the right time. The director needs to cue them and then they will take center stage and do their thing. That will be their moment.

Those dreams, those plans, those wishes and that creativity is still there. The cue cards are out, so I guess I better get out of the way and let them get on stage.

Some Parting Thoughts:
“Write down the thoughts of the moment. Those that come unsought for are commonly the most valuable.”
Francis Bacon

“Leap and the net will appear.”
Julia Cameron

“Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.”
George Bernard Shaw

“But, if you have nothing at all to create, then perhaps you create yourself.”
Carl Jung

“Creativity - like human life itself - begins in darkness.”
Julia Cameron

I had planned on writing this particular piece about Christmas - the whole “day after” thing. But something horrible happened on Christmas this year, and I feel a need to share it with you. I can’t think outside the box; I can’t hardly think at all. I just know that it was never how I anticipated spending my Christmas.

I have had an Amazon parrot since 1985. She was a wild-caught bird; that was back in the days when it was legal to do so and we really didn’t know any better. I tamed her and trained her myself. We were madly in love. I named her Madelyn, despite the fact that I had no idea whether she was male or female.

I am actually writing this on Christmas day. And Madelyn just died.

I have no idea why. She was fine until the day before yesterday and she went fast. But this isn’t a medical or veterinary comment; it is a tribute to a bird that I dearly loved.

Madelyn used to have a place at our dinner table. I remember back to about 1986, and I remember my oldest daughter setting the table for dinner. She would put a place for her and me (I was a single mom), and a place for Madelyn. No flatware but Madelyn had her plate and she sat on the table and dined with us every night. Her favorites were spaghetti and pizza, but she would eat anything we ate.

When I initially got her, I was still working in the field of nursing. I would come home from work to yells of, “hi,” or “hello,” or the heartiest laughter you ever heard. She went through a phase where I couldn’t keep her in her cage for love or money. The normal cage lock she figured out within a few days. I bought her a new cage with a sturdier latch, and that only took a couple of weeks. So I went to a combination lock. My thinking was that I wouldn’t have to worry about losing a key and there was no way she could undo it.

Wrong!

She eventually figured out the combination lock. I will never know how. I have heard theories that they can hear the tumblers and I have heard theories that they just simply learn the numbers. All I know is that I would come home from work and Madelyn would be running around my apartment, having the time of her life.

I eventually put a key padlock on the cage and that did solve the problem. I took that lock off today for the last time.

I have so many memories of Madelyn that I could write a book. Maybe someday I will. The most important memory though, is the one I am going to share right now. When my second daughter was born, about five years after Madelyn and I paired up, Madelyn fell in love again. This time it was with my baby girl. She adored her. She would do anything it took to get out of her cage so she could walk around the perimeter of her playpen and play with her.

It was amazing to see how gentle she was with my second daughter. Madelyn pretty much traded me in for her and the loss of this pet, this wonderful companion, that my daughter has known all of her life, is just about killing her. And it’s Christmas.

I don’t have a quote. I don’t have anything to offer but sharing our pain and knowing that shared pain is alleviated pain. We are all hurting pretty bad over here. Please pray for my daughter as this is just not a loss she should have to endure today.

Thought of the Day:
“Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it. I’m sure that we shall never forget Tiny Tim, or this first parting that there was among us.”
Kermit the Frog - “The Muppet Christmas Carol”

Thinking Outside of the Box:
Christmas brings us such a mixed bag of feelings. The memories of the people who have left this world before us are vivid, and it seems that the holidays cause those memories to become more plentiful. For many people, it is the time of year they dread the most; those memories are more difficult to emotionally handle. Depression and anxiety are common problems during the holidays.

But Christmas, even with issues that are difficult to cope with, gives us those memories as a very special gift. Those are the ties that bind us; they keep us anchored to the past, grounded in the present, and expectant of the future. The ones we remember are always with us, as long as we hold them close in our hearts. They will always live on here in this world, as well as in the next, because we remember.

When the memories make you sad or you feel the holiday blues approaching, stop and rethink what those memories are. They are the best Christmas gift you will receive this Christmas and any Christmas yet-to-come.

Some Last Thoughts:
“Remember, if Christmas isn’t found in your heart, you won’t find it under the tree.”
Charlotte Carpenter

“Christmas is most truly Christmas when we celebrate it by giving the light of love to those who need it most.”
Ruth Carter Stapleton

“Christmas is the day that holds all time together.”
Alexander Smith

“Christmas began in the heart of God. It is complete only when it reaches the heart of man.”
Unknown

“Christmas Eve was a night of song that wrapped itself about you like a shawl. But it warmed more than your body. It warmed your heart… filled it, too, with melody that would last forever.”
Bess Streeter Aldrich

Thought of the Day:
“We pass now quickly from each other’s sight; but I know full well that where beyond these passing scenes you shall be, there will be Heaven.”
Joshua L. Chamberlain

Thinking Outside of the Box:
Many people do not know about All Saints Day. It is the day to remember those who have gone before us, particularly those who have passed away within the last year or those closest to us. Love binds us together even across the divide of earth and heaven. But the fact is, we don’t know where Heaven is; it could be “up” in the sky, way out in some distant galaxy, or right here in some alternate dimension. I don’t know where it is, I just know that is there somewhere. And whoever we love, if they have left before us, we will find them, and we will find Heaven. In my book, Heaven equals Love.

This Day in History:
November 1st turns out to be an interesting day in history. Pompei was buried by Mt. Vesuvius in A.D. 79, Michaelangelo first showed off the ceiling of The Sistine Chapel in 1512, and the U.S. Weather Bureau began operation. The European Union was founded this date in 1993 as well.

Arbitrary Quote of the Day:
“History is philosophy teaching by example.”
Dionysius

Oh - and take a look at this DNA Helix made from cookbooks over at the Genetics Bog - it is so clever!